The new Druss!

Ando · Post by **Ando** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 4:57 am

ZzCock wrote:
Hey Kids, Santa's Not Real December 15, 2004
As December 25 approaches, many of you will be putting out the milk and cookies and waiting for the great elf Santa Clause. That's right, elf, even though he looks more like that creepy fuck at the mall who likes touching your children rather than an elf.

Most of us who celebrate Christmas don’t know much about who Santa Claus really is... or what that fatass does the other 364 days of the year.

Now, I'm sure unless you're like this dumb fuck, you know that Santa is simply a series of lies you feed your children, conning them into believing they need to behave the entire year or else get used to playing with lumps of coal, regardless of the health complications that might occur from doing so.

The simple fact is, Santa is not real, and I'm sick of seeing pictures, imposters, and statues of this nonexistant obese fuck.

- In order to deliver presents to everyone in the world, Santa would have to visit approximately 1,000 homes per second.

- The average speed of the sleigh would have to be 3.6 million miles an hour. This would be a sufficient speed to allow travel to the moon in about 4 minutes. The acceleration and deceleration loads on the reindeer, Santa and the sleigh would be astronomical.

- The sleigh would have to carry about 500,000 tons of cargo, taking up 100 million cubic feet of space, which is equal to about 4,500 homes.

Now, I'm sure a believer could argue these facts by saying Santa uses magic. I hate to burst your bubble, but no matter how many times Ronald McDonald tells me to 'believe in magic', I still think it's all a pile of horse-shit.

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Now that I've officially made the naughty list, ho ho ho, and have a merry Christmas fuckers.

Seriously boys, think of how much fun we can have with him!

Post by **Zenith Nadir** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:01 am

lol zzcock lol lol lol

TACKLING TODAY'S ISSUES HARD AND FAST

Post by **clecky** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:05 am

was ando even around for druss

Post by **Zenith Nadir** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:07 am

Post by **Quantum P.** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:33 am

Is there a 4th of July in Great Britain?

superbowl shuffle · Post by **superbowl shuffle** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 7:10 am

It's called nothing important happened day.

I really think druss has some problems with things that he was taught were real that turned out to be fake. Like wrestling. And Santa. Okay, that's two examples but I still think I'm on to something.

FSFunky · Post by **FSFunky** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 7:48 am

wow that guy is trying so hard to be something awful frontpage writer

and failing just as hard

Ryan Ferneau · Post by **Ryan Ferneau** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:22 am

If only people listened to Ronald McDonald a little more.

Stak · Post by **Stak** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 6:08 pm

superbowl shuffle wrote:It's called nothing important happened day.

I really think druss has some problems with things that he was taught were real that turned out to be fake. Like wrestling. And Santa. Okay, that's two examples but I still think I'm on to something.

Also him being funny

Furry Jesus Freak · Post by **Furry Jesus Freak** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 9:37 pm

I agree with Druss on this one. Crap, he's hilarious though.

235 · Post by **235** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 3:29 am

is there a new druss site or something?

Aplsos · Post by **Aplsos** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:04 am

its rayne you dumb fags

235 · Post by **235** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 5:08 am

it's raining men

Stak · Post by **Stak** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 5:09 am

Speaking of our old friend Druss, I wonder if he ever put his website back up somewhere

Ando · Post by **Ando** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 5:17 am

It would be grand if he did, so that z2 (i.e. us bois) could terrorize him again.

But he probably didn't.