act six: "the votes are in"

by mono


in a galaxy, far, far away:

<matt williams> estoy aburrido.

<michael yount> sabe que tu esta hablando.

<matt williams> oye.

meanwhile, on the winnebagel:

<barney> it's hot in here. lets stop and get some air.

<mono> NO! (keeps driving)

<barney> please? i'm thirsty.

<mono> g'ah. you need water, you need air. do you want me to change your oil too? (keeps driving)

*barney's toungue dries out and crumbles to the floor.

<waka> bwah. that was pretty keen.

<mono> it's "g'ah."

<myth> actually, its  "b'ah."

<mono> are you talking back to me?

<barney> mmm...mmm...mmm....

<inmate> (twitches)

<mono> come to think of it, i am a bit tired. lets stop at this obviously run down hotel on that hill over there.

<waka> nah, there's police tape all over it.

<mono> it's "n'ah."

<myth> actually, it is "nah."

<mono> are you talking back to me?

<inmate> (twitches)

<waka> anyway, lets go to another hotel.

<myth> how about "the palace of love?"

<everyone> ok.

<inmate> (twitches)

*the winnebagel stops outside the "palace of love."

*the group walks inside the hotel, into the lobby.

*a tall doorman dressed like elvis stands at the door.

<barney> mmm....mmm....mmm...

<myth> ...bop?

<everyone> ::shudder::

*zed enters

<zed> HANSON MUST DIE!!!!!!!!#@$%@#$%

*zed leaves

<doorman> good evening. i'm e_megas. can i take your bags?

<waka> NO! (waka pokes the doorman in the eye)

<doorman> ow! my eye!

*inmate pokes the doorman in the eye. he twitches.

*soon, everyone is poking the doorman in the eye. when they tire of the doorman, they start poking each other in the eye.

moments later:

*the group walks up to the front desk. veloso is seated by a computer.

*mono stares at veloso.

*veloso stares at mono

<mono> *ahem*

<veloso> what?

<mono> we want a room.

<veloso> so?

<mono> so give us a room.

<veloso> what do you say?

<mono> are you talking back to me?

<veloso> yes.

<mono> oh.

<veloso> now, what do you want?

<mono> a room.

<veloso> so?

<mono> g'ah.

<barney> mmm...mmm!

<waka> this is the worst service i've ever recieved. let me talk to your manager.

<veloso> fine.

*veloso takes off his bellhop hat, and puts on an overcoat.

<veloso> how can i help you?

<waka> you're the manager too?

<veloso> yes, yes i am.

<waka> cruderoo.

<mono> (to veloso) GIVE US A ROOM!

<veloso> i have no vacancies.

<mono> i don't care about your personal life.

<veloso> i don't either.

*mono marches away, determined to find a room *somewhere* in the hotel. the others follow. they stop near the elevator.

*inmate doesn't. he walks into the wall.

*they wait.

*and wait.

*and wait.

<barney> this sucks.

<mono> butt.

<barney> ew!

<mono> (nmiaow)

<myth> how could that be taken non-obscenely?

<mono> . . .

*finally, the elavator doors open.

*they walk in, and myth presses button #42.

*the elavator rises.

*and rises.

*and rises.

<mono> cool. were getting high.

*and rises.

*finally, the elavator stops. the doors open.

casey mccann has been waiting for them. he holds an eggbeater in that "rico y suave" kind-of-way.

<casey> i'm tired of waiting. someone's gonna die!

*casey lunges toward the group with the eggbeater.

*everyone moves left.

*casey continues lunging, straight ino the elavator doors,  and straight down the shaft.

<barney> he's dead!

<mono> bwah.

<mono> it's "b'ah"

<mono> d'oh!

*they walk down the long pink hallways of the hotel searching for a room. conveniently, the first room they come to is empty.

<myth> how convenient.

*they walk in.

*everyone stands in awe, gazing at the oversized fuscia couch and the plaid-salmon wallpaper.

<everyone> cool! a heartshaped bathtub!

*myth walks over to the television. he presses the "power" button.

*nothing happens.

<myth> hey guys...the t.v. is broken.

<mono> this sucks.

<waka> let's leave.

*they walk out.

*as they leave the hotel, Tseng falls from the sky and lands on barney, killing them both.

<mono> b'eh. barney died.

<myth> it's "bweh."

<mono> are you talking back to me?

<myth> . . .

<inmate> (twitches) who's gonna take bareny's place?

<waka> the world may never know....

***end***

<waka> walk like a waka...

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