act seven: "violence. when will we learn?"
by mono
shocked by the recent death of barney the girl, the remaining four travellers hold an impromptu funeral around the bodies of barney and tseng. everyone stands around in awkward silence, waiting for someone to speak.
<myth> alas, they were star-crossed lovers.
<mono> no they weren't.
<myth> oh.
<waka> . . .
<mono> . . .
<myth> . . .
<inmate> (twitches)
<waka> this sucks.
<mono> big honkin' butt.
<myth> ::shudder::
<inmate> (twitches)
<waka> (blinks)
<myth> la dee dah.
*tseng gets up.
<mono> (gasps) you're supposed to be dead!
<tseng> i got better. somebody broke my fall.
<inmate> you mock barney? how dare you!
*inmate jumps on tseng's back and wrestles him to the ground.
<inmate> die!
*inmate kills tseng.
<mono> bwah.
<myth> it's g'a--
<mono> --shaddap.
<myth> right.
<waka> lets have a moment of silence for bruthah barney.
*they all close their hands and fold their eyes. inmate twitches.
<mono> ...
<inmate> ...
<waka> ...
<myth> ok, that's enough.
*they leave. myth whistles the theme to the andy griffith show.
*they quickly get inside the winnebagel and myth gets in the drivers seat. waka gets in the drivers seat. mono gets in the drivers seat. inmate doesnt.
*all three drivers attempt to start the car.
*it doesnt start.
<myth> crap.
<waka> -ola.
<mono> maybe it's hungry.
<myth> the car? hungry? i seriously doubt it.
<mono> have you tried feeding it?
<myth> well...um...no.
<mono> see? you never know unless you try.
*mono grabs a carrot and places it lovingly in front of the vehicle.
*nothing happens.
<myth> gee. that was pointless.
<mono> hmmm...maybe it wants something else.
*mono pulls out a pimento loaf and sets it down waiting for the winnebagel to make it's move.
*inmate makes his move. he snatches the pimento loaf and eats it.
<mono> g'ah.
<inmate> it's "bahmihahtiticaca woo."
<mono> no it's not.
<inmate> yes, yes it is.
<mono> (kicks inmate) no it's not!
*inmate leaps on mono, forcing him to the ground. as the two are wrestling, waka pops open the hood of the winnebagel.
<waka> here's the problem!
*waka pulls out a yak from under the hood.
<yapok> THERE you are!
*yapok grabs his yak and walks off into the sunset.
*waka and myth walk inside the winnebagel. waka sits in the driver's seat. myth doesn't. waka attempts to start the vehicle.
*nothing.
<myth> maybe if you turn the key.
<waka> oh! (turns key)
*mono and inmate stop fighting. both look up at the winnebagel as it begins to leave.
<mono and inmate> wait!
*they chase down the RV. inmate grabs the bumper. mono grabs inmate. they open the back window, and *just* manage to get inside.
<mono> woo.
*inmate twitches.
<myth> oh hello. nice of you to join us.
<mono> ooh, i wanna smack you.
<inmate> no! let me do it!
*mono smacks myth
*inmate smacks myth
*mono smacks inmate
*myth smacks mono
*inmate smacks himself
*myth smacks waka
<waka> ow!
*tseng jumbs on the winnebagel.
*everybody smacks tseng.
*tseng dies.
<mono> bwah.
<mono> it's "g'ah"
<mono> d'oh! (smacks himself)
<waka> where are we going, anyway?
<myth> i forget. wasn't it something about greg janson?
<mono> yeah! we were going to find greg janson and make him finish megazeux 3.0!
<myth> no, thats not it.
<mono> yes it is.
<myth> oh yeah.
<inmate> i have a better idea! lets go find the Megazeux Rules offices and make the writers bring back barney!
<myth> yeah! i voted for myself to die anyway.
*they take the Megazeux Rules Offices Offramp. the offramp leads to a huge building. next to the building are the offices. they walk in...
***end***
<waka> where are we going, anyway?