Read these rules. NOW

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Zenith Nadir
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Read these rules. NOW

Post by Zenith Nadir »

Danger! These are the guidelines! Take away badly and you delete yourselves! Take away and you stately recompence yourselves!

Aufmerksamkeit!! Bereiten Sie vor sich einzureichen!!

'Sklaven und Meister'

* In eine Schüssel geben Butter einrühren Gemahlene Nüsse zugeben und Den Teig verkneten Augenballgroße Stücke vom Teig formen.

* Rule <s>1</s> 2; read the damn rules. Of course, since you're reading this document you're already adhering to this, but you may be surprised how many people don't bother. Ignorance of the rules is no excuse to act like a moron and we, the admins, can be really quite mean when we need to be. (Yeah, my job description is "mod" but I have all the admin access and everything so WATCH IT, PUNK)

* Flaming IS, amazingly enough, allowed to a certain extent here- provided said flaming extends beyond "u fag ill kick ur ass pedoe ass fagot homo gay fag". This is a small community and as such people are much more likely to tread on each others' toes than they are in, say, a CounterStrike community- and to gloss over such tensions would be artificial, and frankly kind of boring. Having said that, mindless, repeated abuse is not looked upon favourably. If someone is really pissing you off, just take a break from the computer and go for a walk. If you REALLY can't be doing with someone and they won't leave you alone and it's making you sad, report them to an admin- chances are, however, that unnecessitated abuse will be punished accordingly before it gets to that but admins aren't perfect. Or maybe they just don't like you. It has happened, but if that's the case you'll probably be able to tell because we're awful liars! It doesn't pay to take things too seriously, after all when all's said and done this IS just a game.

* Don't cry and tell users not to swear. We'll use bad words whenever we feel like it, fucko, the internet isn't your own private playpen. However, people are less likely to listen to you if every third word is related to incestuous sex. Moderation is key!

*If you've got a problem, contact an admin or the relevant mod. Don't go posting in the thread or you might start a flame war. And they suck.

* Likewise, if you're a MZXer, don't come here with intent to expound the virtues of MZX to the ZZTers; most of us are happy with our crappy GCS from 1991 and your pleas will fall onto deaf ears.

* <Cait_Sith> I suppose if I were to just make a ballpark figure, about 6"..

* References to Caitlog will not be tolerated.

* Just because Mooseka or zamros did it doesn't mean you'll get away with it.

* If someone upsets your little feelings and you decide to leave forever until you come back, please don't announce your departure on the boards, though announcements of "Hi! Who remembers me!" are tolerated. There's an announcement thread in the Off-Topic forum for both, though.

* On a similar note; making "hi guys i'm new to zzt! zzt rox! =)" threads makes Nadir very angry. You wouldn't like to make him angry, would you? Especially not on your first post. If you just can't live without announcing your esteemed presence, the light in which lesser mortals are blessed, post it in <a href=" ... =375">this thread</a>. Otherwise I, uhh i mean nadir, WILL lock the thread, unless Quantum P decides I was mean and unlocks it. Then I'll relock it. I mean. Nadir will relock it.

* Only post in each forum if you have something relevant to say; talking about music in a videogame forum is VERY STUPID unless you're talking about videogame music. If there's a thread already devoted to a topic, use that instead of posting a new thread- doing so usually means a locking and a brusque redirection by a moderator. However, if there is a thread devoted to said topic that's long dead, please don't resurrect it, just post a new one. Reviving slightly old topics for relevant discussion is allowed.

* Avatars are good. However, abusive or explicitly pornographic avatars (for those of you who remember, think of Tyrannous' infamous ejaculating "evocation" avatar) are not, and will be changed and you may get banned, or at least ridiculed until your skin starts to itch. There's also a limit of 1953kb or 300x300 pixels to uploaded avatars- although there is no limit to the size of remotely linked avatars, it's not nice to put one up that horribly widens the user info column. Tall pictures linked in this way are allowed. This "no abusive avatars" rule extends also to signatures and custom user ranks- a signature reading "i will stab dr dos in the heart because he is stupid and i hate him forever" will not be tolerated. (Waits for some contrary asshole to use that as their sig)

* Fellatio will be provided for wildkarrdex as and when demanded. Non compliance with this rule will result in a ban with extreme prejudice.

* Coloured (or colored) fonts in posts are horrid. Yeah, they're available, but they're quite annoying and the only reason we've not got rid of them is because we can't because of the message board format.

* Reviving of dead threads, while not necessarily an offence, is frowned upon by staff and users alike. If a revival is deemed constructive and worth continuing a thread for, it may be continued. Threads revived without a good reason will be locked, at the admins' discretion- repeated pointless revival of dead threads will result in a verbal warning, and possibly a ban. Generally, if a thread hasn't been touched for over about ten days it is considered "dead"; but degrees of deadness vary, so a thread inactive since, say, November 4th and posted in again on the 13th is far less likely to be locked than a thread from April resurrected on the same day.

* If your name is DarbyJ, or were once known as DarbyJ, you're not allowed in here. That is because this is the No-DarbyJs-Allowed-Club. We have meetings every afternoon, except on Saturday, because my Dad won't let me go in the treehouse until I finish the yardwork. So Sunday-Friday - Every afternoon, Saturday - Early evening.

* Wild Boys falling far from glory, reckless and so hungered, on the razors edge you trail, because theres MURDER by the roadside.

* You CAN "img src" link to images on these boards, but don't overdo it. Porn is not a good idea- if you just HAVE to link to tubgirl or something else gross, just a link will do (and the _thisisporn_ sine will be put next to the link, you can type it yorself bi _thisis porn_ without the space). Images in sigs are not allowed.

* Turn me on, turn me on, do it right, you can't go wrong.

* Yeah, we all know The Baron kicks ass, but please don't post like five ravebarons in EVERY MESSAGE you post, or worse still make posts that are just a Baron picture. Again, though it's not a capital offence, it's totally annoying and annoyed admins are admins that are more likely to punch you in the gut by banning you or changing your profile for their own twisted amusement. :ravebaron: :ravebaron: :ravebaron: :superbaron: :fsfunky: :fsfunky:

* FishIg is dead. Please don't try to revive it. Because doing so MAEKS U LOKO STUPEF LOLOOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!111111 HAHAHA OMG I AM FUNEE LOLLZ

* Ban evaders WILL be banned. As many times as it takes! This means you, piroteckkie and Tyrannous.

* And of course, the most important rule, one that applies to every message board ever; <b>DON'T BE AN IDIOT</b> because the penalties are severe.

* Roses are red and violets are blue, honey sweet but not as sweet as you.

* Zaphod He's lean, mean, and a bisexual party machine. When he's not pretending to be an elite Linux user, he's telling us about all of his past personal relationships, and how he's ruined them. He is Godedrp, and as such, he is to be revered and treated with the utmost respect.

The rules are nothing if not elastic, so don't be surprised if you get away with something if an admin is in a good mood. Just don't count on it happening because if it doesn't, you're in shit. The terms "playful despotism" or "benign dictatorship" befits the running of these boards well, though if you have a suggestion for something drop us a line in the Suggestion Box forum and we just might take it up.

This is the end of the document! Have fun, peons.

-Zenith Nadir (with intervention from MadTom and Funk (AND MOOSEKA =( ))

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