SaGa (Notice the obvious reference to a jRPG series) Chapter (something) By FRoiNieL (Written on a heavy dose of Heiroki Kikuta's Nuclear Fusion) [=-The ZZT/MZX'ers find a way onto the Internet-=] Starring- BuTZ/FRoiNieL NaSH/MOGthe1st _mzx_ xfamous Mono Barney 9651 MattW ZZTZed MajiCk Moniter GJanson/KarlaChan T0UCAN Yapok Jr. RbdWombat* SkreenNme* BHirsch3 MegaKupo Newbie 1 Newbie 2 Newbie 3 *AOLers I don't know, but they were in earlier SaGa episodes Story- (It was a typical day @ the AOL headquarters. Arguements between the regulars, newbies causing general chaos for miles abound, the sounds of confusion permeating throughout the MegaZeux room of AOL, etc.) Yapok Jr.-What is it, oh great leader? GJanson-Well, have you ever played FF5j? MOGthe1st-I haven't, but my best friend has it. GJanson-Oh, well, you know Faris from it? MOGthe1st-Isn't that that transvestite chick? GJanson-Yeah. I'm one of her kind SkreenNme-What the fok?! GJanson-I'm a guy pretending to be a girl. RbdWombat-Eek! SkreenNme-That's perverted! (seconds later...) Yapok Jr.-Oh, no! BHirsch3 or whatever the hell his name is returned! GJanson-Great. Just what I need. MOGthe1st-We're screwed... Only a miracle can get us out of his lame preachings of "fixing up our games". GJanson-I wish there was some place we could go to end this madness... RbdWombat-Let's leave, for now, and try to find another place to meet. (they skitter away from the building, just in the nick of time) SkreenNme-Whew! No more "bye bye bye bye bye" for me! Barney9651-Wait! Where are we?! MOGthe1st-We've gone off to a better place. RbdWombat-Free of the hassles of AOL. MOGthe1st-The sultan of SD3, the father of FF, the jarl of jRPG's, the duke of Duky, once told me about this mystical land. Barney9651-What is it? MOGthe1st-It's called... the Internet. All-WHOA... RbdWombat-Where do we go from here? MOGthe1st-And should we really care? Barney9651-The end is finally here! Yapok Jr.-GOD HAVE MERCY! SkreenNme-MegadetH kicks ass! (a shadowy figure jets across the gridlike setting of the Internet) ??????-I'll help you get through this mass of information, and enable you communicate with each other with general ease. Yapok Jr.-How? And, should you be trusted? ??????-(sarcastically) Of course not! I only spent YEARS training for my op status! Barney9651-Okay, tell us, oh great God of the Net! ??????-You just do a Websearch for an IRC client, then type /server us. undernet.org. After you've been connected, type /join #megazeux! MOGthe1st-WOW! (meanwhile, back @ AOL H.Q.) BHirsch3-Wheeere iz evereebuddy? Newbie 1-I don't know! BHirsch3-I wantud too fix upp theyre gamez!!! Newbie 2-Something is strange! Normally, EVERYBODY would be here! Newbie 3-This sucks! MegaKupo-No way! Now, I get to FLOOD the channel! FaFaFa! (rip off of ExDeath's laugh, FF5j) Newbie 3-What does that mean? MegaKupo-FLOOD! FLOOD! FLOOD! FLOOD! FLOOD! (he does that for another hour or two, while the Newbies watch helplessly) At this time, everybody got the program, mIRC, by Naveen Anumolu, or something like that. They quickly mastered basic IRC techniques and commands, learned how to do color codes :), and got connected to #megazeux. Now, we'll follow the story through the eyes of NaSH, or MOGthe1st... mIRC version 4.7 By Naveenie Habibie /server us.undernet.org Connecting to us.undernet.org Local Host = LOCALNAME (205.666.43.23) PING? PONG! (bunch of MOTD crap no one bothers to read) /join #megazeux #megazeux - @MajiCk, @Moniter, @ZZTZed, @xfamous, @MattW *** NaSH (NaSH@aol.com) has joined #megazeux (Upon entering, NaSH notices a giant robot, who resembles Akira Toriyama's Robo. This is _mzx_, the controller of the channel.) <_mzx_> [NaSH] Fighting games rule... I have 3 cats... I like Cheerios... Who are you? I'm MOGthe1st@aol.com, and a character in Street Fighter Delta, or something... I recognize you! You're the dude with the long hair, right? Hehe... Yeah! I'm the mysterious figure who told all you AOL'ers about the Internet... Cool... (A new figure materializes in the channel, one who looks like a horrible drawing... He has blonde hair, is ugly, and is pale in color) *** FRoiNieL (FRoiNieL@ff2j.net) has joined #megazeux <_mzx_> [FRoiNieL] [(~)] PSX KICKS ALL SORTS OF FOKKING ASS!!! [(~)] *** _mzx_ sets mode +o FRoiNiel (I fokking WISH :) ) Damn it, I hate Yoshitaka Amano! ALL his character drawings are ugly as hell! *** FRoiNieL changes nick to BuTZ (Suddenly, FRoiNiel's body shatters into a million pieces. The particles then form a new character, one with maroon hair slicked back, and a vest) Oh, hey, Wuke! 'Sup, G? Hey, man! Ya know? I'm kicking hard ass @ the FF2j ROM! It's so AWESOME! YEAH! I'm beta-testing the ENGLISH TRANSLATED version, it's gonna kick some mega-ass! Yeah! Hell, yeah! (Naturally, ZZTZed, who talks about as much as Crono from CT, quickly makes a snide comeback to BuTZ, which is all he's basically good for :) ) Quit acting like an ass, BuTZ, before they throw you in a mental institute with your idol, Nobuo Uematsu! * BuTZ starts humming "Battle with Gilgamesh" Battle with Gilgamesh kicks ass! Nobuo rulez!!! *** Barney (adhesive@ix.netcom.com) has joined #megazeux Werd up, homie! Hey everybody! I was just telling them about my FF5j ROM, and Nuclear Fusion! I see... *** Mono (mono10@mistic.net) has joined #megazeux So, who's the robot? _mzx_ [SOUND] roboredy.wav That's _mzx_... He keeps things in order over here... He's one kewl bot! I guess so... Haven't been here much. You newbie! I HATE newbies! I'm not a newbie! Barney, it's me! MOGthe1st!!! No, you're not! I don't believe you! Neither do I! Prove it! Ok, well, I'm in Duky Inc. EVERYBODY is in Duky Inc.! Oh... Kupo! wtf was that? It was a 'Kupo', you idiot! Haven't you ever played FF3?!!! No. FF sucks! *** BuTZ sets mode +b *!*@mistic.net *** Mono was kicked by BuTZ (FF RULEZ YOU STUPID FUCK!!!) FF RULEZ! Don't be dissin' the shit, now! Quit acting like a Homie! Shut up, butzmunch! Fok you! Enough of the flame wars, you flamers! Hey, Dan! Do you know your name spelled backwards is 'NAD'?! Yes, I'm aware of it... This IS better than being pestered by lamerz on AOL... (Barney spoke too soon... irony occured) *** MegaKupo (megakupo@aol.com) has joined #megazeux FOK! I HATE these freaking lamerz!!! I thought I set a ban on you! FLOOD! FLOOD! *** MegaKupo was kicked by BuTZ (I don't like you! I just hate you! I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!) Good... Now, can we get back to our discussion on SQuaReWaReZ? I'm all for that, G! *** MegaKupo (megakupo@aol.com) has joined #megazeux Oh, gawd! Here we go again... * MegaKupo kicks BuTZ in the 'balls' *** MegaKupo was kicked by BuTZ (I have balls, you fokking lamer!) Ahhh! Peace at last! Thank God! (Meanwhile, in a jail cell in Smithtown, New York [Long Island, to be exact], a convict emerges from the stone slab of a bed where he has to rest. He is only about 16, but very tall and thin, with a small ponytail and his hair shaved underneath the ponytail. He looks menacing, but stupid. He was put in prison for drawing a racist symbol that resembles Level 3-First Quest of Zelda [I have the ROM]... From now on, he'll be referred to as 'Prisoner', but his name will be revealed further on in the story) Hey, guard! What the hell do you want? (The prisoner's stupidity becomes apparent right about... NOW!) I'm gonna escape! You're so freaking stupid! Why the hell would you say something like THAT to me? Uhhh... You dumbass! Shut up! I'll kick your ass! I can take you down, Nazi-boy! (The guard opens his cell, and the prisoner attacks him... ) Yes! Now, I can escape! (The prisoner escapes from the jail cell, and hitchikes his way across the United States, up to Canada.) Uhhh... Which state is Canada in? (He spies a building, and heads to it. When he enters, a text box at the top of his peripheral vision says "Vancouver BC Undernet Server Building", a la FF5j) What's that? A computer! I'm no computer! I'm a server! And, I run Linux!!! Quit pestering me, you dumb computer! I'M NOT A COMPUTER! YES YOU ARE! I'M NOT DUMB, EITHER! IF ANYONE HERE IS DUMB, IT'S YOU, WHO IS UNABLE TO COMPREHEND THE FACT THAT I'M A SERVER, NOT A COMPUTER! STOP TAUNTING ME! (The prisoner races towards the "computer", and hits it. It flies across the room, and hits the wall... By an immense reaction, he is pulled into the nearly defunct Linux Box.) (We go back now to our friends on #megazeux) It's a netsplit! NO! What will happen to our channel?! Will it be taken over again? (Everybody on #megazeux suddenly blanks out. When they awaken, the netsplit seems to be over...) That was some hellish Netsplit... Yeah... *** Prisoner (Prisoner@li.net) has joined #megazeux Who the hell is this? Just what we need, another newbie! Where the fok am I? FOK? Is that Kurt Meyer? How the fok do you know me?! (So, in the end, we see how the ZZT/MZXers left AOL to go on the Internet, and we met Kurt Meyer, famous for his 'FOK' expressions...) FIN