Im miserable, need to complain!
Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 7:10 pm
Fuck Im miserable!
I mean yea life is hard, I don't imagine it be any harder or easier if I wasn't trans (which yes I am a transexual). Thats just life.... but I mean I feel like IM getting shitted on.... all my friends, every single one of them fucked off... I have no friends right now, Im just a lonely piece of shit...
I don't even have a job right now, so Im a broke loney piece of shit... I have debts due and all that... my dealer would probably spot me a 20 bag and that might pass the time until I might get called by a possible job oppourtunity, but will that happen?
And work, I can't even afford the cost to change my name right so I have to present myself as someone I am not.... I mean do you know how difficult it is to look like a guy when you have tits? DO you know how much it kills a person inside pretending to be something they are not?
All I've got is IRC and my immediate family... (mostly just my brother)....
My mother and her boyfriend are alcholics who have been drinking so long that they are pickled to the extend of no repair... they at least accept that Im trans and provide me with shelter... anything else though (including food) I have to supply myself...
Im slowly straving, can't seem to get a job, have no real life friends.... if I was suicidal I wouldn't have to do much since Ill prolly starve at this rate...
Why the fuck does the world run on money anyways.... Everyday all people ever fucking care about is money... its never "how you doing" or "you seem sad, are you okay" its just "he hun, do you have any money this week?" Fucking alcoholic parents, they fucking complain they have no money but the always have a cigarette in one hand an a beer in the other...
Well Im done for now, needed to rant somewhere where people might read it...
I mean yea life is hard, I don't imagine it be any harder or easier if I wasn't trans (which yes I am a transexual). Thats just life.... but I mean I feel like IM getting shitted on.... all my friends, every single one of them fucked off... I have no friends right now, Im just a lonely piece of shit...
I don't even have a job right now, so Im a broke loney piece of shit... I have debts due and all that... my dealer would probably spot me a 20 bag and that might pass the time until I might get called by a possible job oppourtunity, but will that happen?
And work, I can't even afford the cost to change my name right so I have to present myself as someone I am not.... I mean do you know how difficult it is to look like a guy when you have tits? DO you know how much it kills a person inside pretending to be something they are not?
All I've got is IRC and my immediate family... (mostly just my brother)....
My mother and her boyfriend are alcholics who have been drinking so long that they are pickled to the extend of no repair... they at least accept that Im trans and provide me with shelter... anything else though (including food) I have to supply myself...
Im slowly straving, can't seem to get a job, have no real life friends.... if I was suicidal I wouldn't have to do much since Ill prolly starve at this rate...
Why the fuck does the world run on money anyways.... Everyday all people ever fucking care about is money... its never "how you doing" or "you seem sad, are you okay" its just "he hun, do you have any money this week?" Fucking alcoholic parents, they fucking complain they have no money but the always have a cigarette in one hand an a beer in the other...
Well Im done for now, needed to rant somewhere where people might read it...