The ZZTers guide to ROMANCE
Moderator: zamros
woman:
(artist's rendition)
Apparently, 50-51% of the human population of earth belongs to the "woman" category of our noble race. Instead of an appendage in the groin area called the "penis," they posess a hole lined with a soft membrane, called a "vagina." In sharp contrast to the man's gonads on the outside in a sac named the "scrotum," the woman's vagina leads to the female gonads, called the "ovaries." In addition to the groin area contrast, women also attain larger breasts than men during their adolesence. Women tend to be smaller than men on average, although there are cases of extremely large women as well as exteremely small ones.
Hope this helped!
(artist's rendition)
Apparently, 50-51% of the human population of earth belongs to the "woman" category of our noble race. Instead of an appendage in the groin area called the "penis," they posess a hole lined with a soft membrane, called a "vagina." In sharp contrast to the man's gonads on the outside in a sac named the "scrotum," the woman's vagina leads to the female gonads, called the "ovaries." In addition to the groin area contrast, women also attain larger breasts than men during their adolesence. Women tend to be smaller than men on average, although there are cases of extremely large women as well as exteremely small ones.
Hope this helped!
- Quantum P.
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- Zenith Nadir
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- Ellypses
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"Hey baby girl. If you don't have plans, I want you to come over and check out my harddrive, and my rumble joystick. I got a game over here we could play."
You can sit here right beside me for a little bit.
I got something you should see for a little bit.
Unwaveling the cord for a little bit.
*Tak* away on the keyboard for a little bit.
You can hold the joystick for a little bit.
Not very hard girl just a little bit.
Weave it to side to side for a little bit.
Put in racing and we could ride for a little bit.
You can sit here right beside me for a little bit.
I got something you should see for a little bit.
Unwaveling the cord for a little bit.
*Tak* away on the keyboard for a little bit.
You can hold the joystick for a little bit.
Not very hard girl just a little bit.
Weave it to side to side for a little bit.
Put in racing and we could ride for a little bit.
Zamros that was great! Seriously though I have advice!
I may not be a casanova like zamros but i have had sex with over 3 GIRLS! (4!) and ok sure i keep marrying them or getting them pregnant but ive also been in a two year relationship where i LIVED with a girl and now ive been in a relationship now for 7 months!
Finding girls and asking them out!:
Girls are everywhere! But the problem is most of them are probably already going out with someone or incredibly boring or way out of your league so if your looks fall between ugly to plain the best idea ive found is to get to know a girl first! dont try to chat up girls at parties or bars unless you're drunk becuase you wont know what to say.. and the girl will be juding you entirely by your looks so that isnt going to work!
instead find a nice girl in your class/place of work and be friends with them! do that for like two months and THEN ask them out! i should imagine most ZZTers do have lots of personallity so that time should allow the girl to get to know you and for you to decide if the girl is actually worth it anyway. when you do ask them out, dont do it online, do it in real life! this is becuase online might be safer but it is also harder to show your TRUE FEELINGS! you can be drunk or high when you do it, but its probably better to do it sober! what should you say! I dont know, but the last time i asked a girl out she was like "so do you like anyone" and i was like "yeah i like this girl and i see her everyday and shes amazing etc" (i was talking about her!!!!) anyway eventually she got the hint and asked ME out! that was rather pussy of me actually but it WORKED!
What if she says she just wants to be friends? well i guess she might just be being nice and just doesnt like you, but its probably more likely you arent manly enough! girls dont like nice people becuase nice people are boring, so dont always be sucking up to girls and being a gentlemen becuase it will hardly ever work! dont start beating girls up though becuase that doesnt work either!
Computers + Girls:
All this no girls that like computers stuff is dumb! I'll suggest that there are no girls that like computers that are like what guys imagine! Just 'liking computers' isnt enough. There are hundreds of overweight socially retarded girls on the internet right now playing everquest. but that isnt what most people are after i guess! the hot computer girls are girls that are probably out of your league and go to the nerds that are cool or are wasted on people that dont like computer games at all!
HOWEVER thats dumb becuase it bases everything on the fact a girl that initally doesnt like games will NEVER like games or computers! If you have a girlfriend who is open minded and intelligent the chances are she'll like games in some form. No, she wont like ZZT or ADOM or whatever becuase nobody likes ZZT or ADOM not even men! (PS girls do like ALTER EGO if you want to see a girl play a DOS game!) But half a billion girls RIGHT NOW are playing games! Start your girlfriend off with games that girls love! The Sims/Sims2, Harvest Moon, Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball, True Love.. Girls like games that simulate LIFE or have something to with LOOKING PRETTY, WEARING/BUYING CLOTHES and BEATING UP/KISSING other girls. More broadly anything with BRIGHT COLOURS or ANIMALS will be enjoyed by women!
Find out also if your girlfriend played games when she was a kid, almost every girl ive ever known has loved sonic the hedgehog and i guess some of the stupid ones have liked mario, too. This means they'll probably like Sonic Adventure and so Ive used that to introduce girls to 3 DIMENSONAL GAMING. Be careful if you try that and be patient because girls CANNOT USE MOUSELOOK UNLESS THE SENSITIVY IS ON 0, nor can they use ANALOGUE STICKS at all for at least three months after being introduce to them!
Experiment with your girlfriend (HOT) Most girls will probably enjoy final fantasy or virtually any platformer that they wont get stuck on. Girls also tend to enjoy old point and click adventures! some girls like FPS but most cant figure out how to move in them and certain RTS games might work as well but they can get complicated especially those that have lots of resources so you have to be careful! Remember Console gaming is always better to get girls into becuase its more immediate and dumbed down to their level! If you have a Gamecube awesome and ps2s can also work especially games like katamari.. if you have an xbox you'll need converters becuase the xbox controller is not compatible with girls!
BUT WHY BOTHER! Well the thing is, is that just becuase you find a girl doesnt mean you will stop being interested in computer games, and your girlfriend will most likely be trying to plat your hair and make you watch dawsons creek and desperate housewives so you might as well force her to do something YOU like, and its probably easier than trying to make yourself seem interesting which you probably wont be able to keep up if you actually get a girlfriend anyway! however as has been stated NONE OF THIS WILL WORK if computers and games are the only thing in your life, you still need to know HOW TO HAVE A TASTE IN MUSIC, and WHERE TO FIND THE CLITORIS!
I may not be a casanova like zamros but i have had sex with over 3 GIRLS! (4!) and ok sure i keep marrying them or getting them pregnant but ive also been in a two year relationship where i LIVED with a girl and now ive been in a relationship now for 7 months!
Finding girls and asking them out!:
Girls are everywhere! But the problem is most of them are probably already going out with someone or incredibly boring or way out of your league so if your looks fall between ugly to plain the best idea ive found is to get to know a girl first! dont try to chat up girls at parties or bars unless you're drunk becuase you wont know what to say.. and the girl will be juding you entirely by your looks so that isnt going to work!
instead find a nice girl in your class/place of work and be friends with them! do that for like two months and THEN ask them out! i should imagine most ZZTers do have lots of personallity so that time should allow the girl to get to know you and for you to decide if the girl is actually worth it anyway. when you do ask them out, dont do it online, do it in real life! this is becuase online might be safer but it is also harder to show your TRUE FEELINGS! you can be drunk or high when you do it, but its probably better to do it sober! what should you say! I dont know, but the last time i asked a girl out she was like "so do you like anyone" and i was like "yeah i like this girl and i see her everyday and shes amazing etc" (i was talking about her!!!!) anyway eventually she got the hint and asked ME out! that was rather pussy of me actually but it WORKED!
What if she says she just wants to be friends? well i guess she might just be being nice and just doesnt like you, but its probably more likely you arent manly enough! girls dont like nice people becuase nice people are boring, so dont always be sucking up to girls and being a gentlemen becuase it will hardly ever work! dont start beating girls up though becuase that doesnt work either!
Computers + Girls:
All this no girls that like computers stuff is dumb! I'll suggest that there are no girls that like computers that are like what guys imagine! Just 'liking computers' isnt enough. There are hundreds of overweight socially retarded girls on the internet right now playing everquest. but that isnt what most people are after i guess! the hot computer girls are girls that are probably out of your league and go to the nerds that are cool or are wasted on people that dont like computer games at all!
HOWEVER thats dumb becuase it bases everything on the fact a girl that initally doesnt like games will NEVER like games or computers! If you have a girlfriend who is open minded and intelligent the chances are she'll like games in some form. No, she wont like ZZT or ADOM or whatever becuase nobody likes ZZT or ADOM not even men! (PS girls do like ALTER EGO if you want to see a girl play a DOS game!) But half a billion girls RIGHT NOW are playing games! Start your girlfriend off with games that girls love! The Sims/Sims2, Harvest Moon, Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball, True Love.. Girls like games that simulate LIFE or have something to with LOOKING PRETTY, WEARING/BUYING CLOTHES and BEATING UP/KISSING other girls. More broadly anything with BRIGHT COLOURS or ANIMALS will be enjoyed by women!
Find out also if your girlfriend played games when she was a kid, almost every girl ive ever known has loved sonic the hedgehog and i guess some of the stupid ones have liked mario, too. This means they'll probably like Sonic Adventure and so Ive used that to introduce girls to 3 DIMENSONAL GAMING. Be careful if you try that and be patient because girls CANNOT USE MOUSELOOK UNLESS THE SENSITIVY IS ON 0, nor can they use ANALOGUE STICKS at all for at least three months after being introduce to them!
Experiment with your girlfriend (HOT) Most girls will probably enjoy final fantasy or virtually any platformer that they wont get stuck on. Girls also tend to enjoy old point and click adventures! some girls like FPS but most cant figure out how to move in them and certain RTS games might work as well but they can get complicated especially those that have lots of resources so you have to be careful! Remember Console gaming is always better to get girls into becuase its more immediate and dumbed down to their level! If you have a Gamecube awesome and ps2s can also work especially games like katamari.. if you have an xbox you'll need converters becuase the xbox controller is not compatible with girls!
BUT WHY BOTHER! Well the thing is, is that just becuase you find a girl doesnt mean you will stop being interested in computer games, and your girlfriend will most likely be trying to plat your hair and make you watch dawsons creek and desperate housewives so you might as well force her to do something YOU like, and its probably easier than trying to make yourself seem interesting which you probably wont be able to keep up if you actually get a girlfriend anyway! however as has been stated NONE OF THIS WILL WORK if computers and games are the only thing in your life, you still need to know HOW TO HAVE A TASTE IN MUSIC, and WHERE TO FIND THE CLITORIS!
- superbowl shuffle
- Official Clamp School Defender
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Okay, so I have this friend who isn't bad looking and he gets looks from girls but can't always think of the best way to start conversations. I'm talking attractive girls, in sober, public situations.
My friend sure could use some tips.
My friend sure could use some tips.
[size=75:lh51rn9h][b:lh51rn9h]When the 5 o'clock whistle blows, so do I.[/b:lh51rn9h]
[/size:lh51rn9h]
[/size:lh51rn9h]
If you know a hot girl that you think might be interested in you, do what my friend did. This may or may not cost you a bit of money, but it worked. Make sure she isn't taken first (this is important). This takes a lot of balls....find out where she parks on the school campus, and RUN INTO HER CAR WITH YOURS! Wait till she comes out, and be like "is this your car? i seem to have backed into it...im so incredibly sorry.". She'll be all upset, but be like "Hey, I know you, youre blah blah blah". Then, after you exchange insurance information, call her (she should give you her number, you know..."just in case the insurance company needs it") sometime within the next week, and invite her to dinner or something, because you feel bad about the wreck and want to repay her somehow.
It's pretty crazy, but it worked. OH MAKE SURE YOU ARE FULLY COVERED. JUST HAVING LIABILITY WILL COST YOU.
It's pretty crazy, but it worked. OH MAKE SURE YOU ARE FULLY COVERED. JUST HAVING LIABILITY WILL COST YOU.
hay sxy ladie!
- Zenith Nadir
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- A daring young man on a flying trapeze.
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Also bear in mind that women are prone to being utterly incapable of reason for extended periods of time. If a girl's ends a night out in tears it will be for no reason and she will forget about it the next day.
It may be that the females are SO INTIMIDATED by the SUPERIOR LOGIC AND REASONING of the male mind that they cease to function. No research has been done in to this area, possibly because scientists don't get girls.
If you just want cheap sex goth girls have low self esteem and generally can be manipulated into any situation.
Oh and for gods sake dress well. It requires little to no effort and it can make all the difference.
It may be that the females are SO INTIMIDATED by the SUPERIOR LOGIC AND REASONING of the male mind that they cease to function. No research has been done in to this area, possibly because scientists don't get girls.
If you just want cheap sex goth girls have low self esteem and generally can be manipulated into any situation.
Oh and for gods sake dress well. It requires little to no effort and it can make all the difference.
- Quantum P.
- Level 17 Accordion Thief
- Posts: 1433
- Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2003 1:41 am
- Location: Edmonds, WA
- Contact: