z2

jesus regularly engages in the consumption of fecal matter nmiaow

Logical argument: If he makes a boulder so large he can't lift it, he isn't omnipotent. If he can't make it, he still isn't omnipotent.

Religious: Because he made this universe (and the logic thereof), he can bend the logic to suit his needs. He makes the rules, after all.

Practical: Irrelevant, as God rarely needs large boulders.

Scientific: God made and placed all the planets by Himself. Obviously, the boulder would have to be much larger than any known planet. Such a boulder would have to reside in outer space, where there is no up or down. Therefore, to "lift" has no meaning, and the question is irrelevant.

Samson: God could give the boulder to me and lift it through my work.

Archimedes: Couldn't He just use a lever?

Jesus: If you can move mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed, boulders should follow suit.

Newton: God could put the boulder next to another boulder of comparable size, so that their own gravitational forces would move them.

Einstein: If God creates such a boulder, he can move the rest of the universe relative to the boulder to achieve the effect of lifting it.

Reporter: God makes and moves boulder! Tonight at eleven.

Werner von Braun: Rockets.

David Macaulay: Pneumatics and hydraulics.

Programmer: MOV BL, 23h

Caveman: Ook.

Pharaoh: More slaves and earth ramps! More slaves and earth ramps!

Quantum P.: I'm tired and a certified paranoid idiot. I don't need to worry about boulders, I need to worry about getting a good 8 hours sleep. Goodnight!

. . .

George W. Bush: I'm George W. Bush, and I approve this message.

ZZT:
:tryagain
#put e boulder
/e
"Darn, still not heavy enough."
#tryagain

I don't know whether to think quantum's post was really neat or really retarded.

Quantum P. wrote:Scientific: God made and placed all the planets by Himself. Obviously, the boulder would have to be much larger than any known planet. Such a boulder would have to reside in outer space, where there is no up or down. Therefore, to "lift" has no meaning, and the question is irrelevant.

I rather like this one.

i could of put

microwave: you're a faggot

but that's moose's job

No offense, but what if the reader doesn't see the colon?

extreme offense TAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just kidding

well i'd look like a fool!

but then they would for not seeing it.

*Jazzy wildly applauds. (That was awesome!)

Jazzy wrote:*Jazzy wildly applauds. (That was awesome!)

I'm assuming you're talking about Quantum P's post. It reminded me of the kind of humor found in really old ZZT games (Island of the Jerks, Moronic Wars, etc).

That reminds me of that chicken cross the road thing fuck it this isn't worth typing.

It reminds me of that "religions in a nutshell" thing. Or was it governments in a nutshell? If you have two cows, you...

Dude. Page 3.

We all wrote: @COWZ
Communism
You have two cows. The government takes them both and gives you the milk.
Facism
You have two cows. The government takes them both and shoot you.
ZZT Communityism
You have two cows. Fishfood bans them both and Zenith REIDS THE HOSS.

(Refering to.. a dragon?!?!)

You're a dragon, dragonhead

$5 on Ryan.