Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:49 pm
A normal day in the life of Axle
I wake up earlier than I wanted, due to noise in the kitchen. Someone making breakfast. Someone who can't NOT slam cupboards and smash dishes. No matter how many times he's been yelled at.
I try to check my websites. Most are down.
The things I was downloading last night got interrupted. I forgot to queue them to resume.
It made no progress.
So I get dressed. There's nothing I feel like eating. And it all requires cooking. TV dinners, $1 meals, ramen.
I get ready to go to an interview. I'm asked to take out the trash, and pick up toilet paper and/or go give Steph money to get toilet paper after work.
Steph's workplace isn't open yet, so I can't. I have to get it myself. I am the only one who ever gets anything. I am perpetually going to and from the store.
I wait for my bus, getting some $1 nachos. They're good, but my beard and mustache keep getting crap on them, and I keep eating my mustache. I hate my body. It's ugly. Noone could like this hideous body. I look like some sort of homeless person. My coat is ugly. It was free.
I can't afford new clothes.
I get on the bus. It's a short ride. I get off, and walk 2 blocks to get to the Walgreens where my application is.
I am early. Very early. I'm not even sure why I left so early. I guess i'm eager at a second chance.
Life doesn't give second chances.
I head to McDonald's after buying toilet paper and hydrogen peroxide. It was 16oz for $0.50. It may help stop my teeth from hurting so much. Brushing doesn't help. Nor does mouthwash.
I spend $2 on fries and a drink. But I get sick before finishing, nauseated, and don't feel like finishing them. I talk to a clerk who encourages me to apply for a job there. I ask for a pen, but the manager at the store contradicts the employee, saying they're not hiring.
He refuses to give me one of the five pens in his shirt, so I can fill the app out.
I sit and wait for a while, until it's time for my interview.
The manager asks me to leave. No loitering.
The fries are still on the tray in front of me, as is the drink.
I leave. Before I get back to the Walgreens, I suddenly have to go to the bathroom. Badly.
I soil myself a little, because noone in the area has a public restroom. I have to walk 3 blocks to a subway. They use the micro-rolls on spools that don't turn. So you never get more than 2-3 squares, and they're the size of a ciagerrete pack each.
I vomit from the smell.
I left my two packs (8 rolls) of toilet paper and hydrogen peroxide on a table while I did my business.
They're gone when I come back.
I found the rolls outside, the packages torn open and trees covered with them. Someone stole my $2.50 of stuff and destroyed it.
$2.50 I had borrowed anyway.
I stuff what is left in my pockets and go wait at walgreens for ten minutes.
They give me a second assessment. The first was online, when I applied. 100 questions, all personality-based. None relevent.
This was 50. All math problems. I felt like I was back in middle school. I felt retarded.
I had an interview. The manager didn't seem to care about my answers. It was all routine. Hired or not, she doesn't care. Not about me, or her job, or Walgreens.
I then go to head home. I wait for 45 minutes on the bus. It's very cold.
Two teenagers approach me. Both girls.
They make fun of me. They call me shaggy, ugly, dirty, etc.
They think I couldn't hear them.
I cry.
After half an hour of being cold and taunted, with torn rolls of toilet paper stuffed into my coat pockets, looking homeless AND retarded... the bus comes.
My transfer expired. In fact, it expired before I got it: The driver didn't give me the right transfer.
So I have to pay another $1.75. A $1.75 I borrowed anyway. That I wasn't supposed to spend.
I ride home. Walk home.
I come in, and set $19 on Shen's money area, to replace the $20 he had given me for toilet paper.
I had spent $6.27.
I take the last of my money (change) and give him $19, because I felt bad for ending up only getting three rolls.
Shen asks how it goes. I declined to tell him. He always gives some reply like 'it sucks' and that's all. He never cares. He has never shown any sympathy to anyone but himself.
He never apologizes for what I do for him. He rarely thanks me. He expects it from me. Everything I do.
And he wants more.
I begin typing this.
Steph comes home. She seems surprised i'm here. She goes to her room. Her and Shen argue over something, as usual. They always argue. At least once a day. Usually three or four. Sometimes more. Usually over who takes care of the baby or who's feelings are more important. They also fight a lot about doing house chores. Cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash.
I end up doing most of it just so they'll stop screaming.
And now i'm here. I'll vegitate a while, then go to bed.
And tomorrow, like every day?
I'll wake up, a little more broken than before.
I wake up earlier than I wanted, due to noise in the kitchen. Someone making breakfast. Someone who can't NOT slam cupboards and smash dishes. No matter how many times he's been yelled at.
I try to check my websites. Most are down.
The things I was downloading last night got interrupted. I forgot to queue them to resume.
It made no progress.
So I get dressed. There's nothing I feel like eating. And it all requires cooking. TV dinners, $1 meals, ramen.
I get ready to go to an interview. I'm asked to take out the trash, and pick up toilet paper and/or go give Steph money to get toilet paper after work.
Steph's workplace isn't open yet, so I can't. I have to get it myself. I am the only one who ever gets anything. I am perpetually going to and from the store.
I wait for my bus, getting some $1 nachos. They're good, but my beard and mustache keep getting crap on them, and I keep eating my mustache. I hate my body. It's ugly. Noone could like this hideous body. I look like some sort of homeless person. My coat is ugly. It was free.
I can't afford new clothes.
I get on the bus. It's a short ride. I get off, and walk 2 blocks to get to the Walgreens where my application is.
I am early. Very early. I'm not even sure why I left so early. I guess i'm eager at a second chance.
Life doesn't give second chances.
I head to McDonald's after buying toilet paper and hydrogen peroxide. It was 16oz for $0.50. It may help stop my teeth from hurting so much. Brushing doesn't help. Nor does mouthwash.
I spend $2 on fries and a drink. But I get sick before finishing, nauseated, and don't feel like finishing them. I talk to a clerk who encourages me to apply for a job there. I ask for a pen, but the manager at the store contradicts the employee, saying they're not hiring.
He refuses to give me one of the five pens in his shirt, so I can fill the app out.
I sit and wait for a while, until it's time for my interview.
The manager asks me to leave. No loitering.
The fries are still on the tray in front of me, as is the drink.
I leave. Before I get back to the Walgreens, I suddenly have to go to the bathroom. Badly.
I soil myself a little, because noone in the area has a public restroom. I have to walk 3 blocks to a subway. They use the micro-rolls on spools that don't turn. So you never get more than 2-3 squares, and they're the size of a ciagerrete pack each.
I vomit from the smell.
I left my two packs (8 rolls) of toilet paper and hydrogen peroxide on a table while I did my business.
They're gone when I come back.
I found the rolls outside, the packages torn open and trees covered with them. Someone stole my $2.50 of stuff and destroyed it.
$2.50 I had borrowed anyway.
I stuff what is left in my pockets and go wait at walgreens for ten minutes.
They give me a second assessment. The first was online, when I applied. 100 questions, all personality-based. None relevent.
This was 50. All math problems. I felt like I was back in middle school. I felt retarded.
I had an interview. The manager didn't seem to care about my answers. It was all routine. Hired or not, she doesn't care. Not about me, or her job, or Walgreens.
I then go to head home. I wait for 45 minutes on the bus. It's very cold.
Two teenagers approach me. Both girls.
They make fun of me. They call me shaggy, ugly, dirty, etc.
They think I couldn't hear them.
I cry.
After half an hour of being cold and taunted, with torn rolls of toilet paper stuffed into my coat pockets, looking homeless AND retarded... the bus comes.
My transfer expired. In fact, it expired before I got it: The driver didn't give me the right transfer.
So I have to pay another $1.75. A $1.75 I borrowed anyway. That I wasn't supposed to spend.
I ride home. Walk home.
I come in, and set $19 on Shen's money area, to replace the $20 he had given me for toilet paper.
I had spent $6.27.
I take the last of my money (change) and give him $19, because I felt bad for ending up only getting three rolls.
Shen asks how it goes. I declined to tell him. He always gives some reply like 'it sucks' and that's all. He never cares. He has never shown any sympathy to anyone but himself.
He never apologizes for what I do for him. He rarely thanks me. He expects it from me. Everything I do.
And he wants more.
I begin typing this.
Steph comes home. She seems surprised i'm here. She goes to her room. Her and Shen argue over something, as usual. They always argue. At least once a day. Usually three or four. Sometimes more. Usually over who takes care of the baby or who's feelings are more important. They also fight a lot about doing house chores. Cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash.
I end up doing most of it just so they'll stop screaming.
And now i'm here. I'll vegitate a while, then go to bed.
And tomorrow, like every day?
I'll wake up, a little more broken than before.
