Page 3 of 4

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 11:47 am
by Zenith Nadir
i still have a copy of that! but i am not cruel enough to distribute it.

flimsy is, though

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 7:14 pm
by Ando
flimsy killed this thread

way to go faggot

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 1:20 pm
by nps
teehee, ando thinks i'm a jackass!! my internet self-confidence is increased! my real life self-confidence however remains as low as always ;_;

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 4:07 pm
by Quantum P.
The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set–
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all the shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink–
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK–HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY...USED...TO...READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic takes
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy–Winkle and–
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole–
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks–
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start–oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hears. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height.
But if we can't–it serves him right.

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:34 pm
by Alexis Janson
so you're saying we should make a remake of charlie and the chocolate factory in which mike teavee is autistic.

i am on board with this idea.

instead of a movie, this time it will be a tv show. for kids.

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:59 pm
by Ando
what actually makes the whole "autistic mike teevee" thing hilarious is that there is now a new theory that states that television may cause autism in some children

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:24 pm
by Alexis Janson
i know, i just linked to it like three posts ago

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 4:55 am
by superbowl shuffle
so I hear television may be linked to autism

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 6:40 am
by burstroc
i'll rape you for this, parkins.

(i figured i should probably make the first rape joke here)

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 5:24 pm
by Ando
flimsy yo' gonna be all suckin' mah dick, and yo' gonna SWALLOW what I'm gonna give to ya

then yo' gonna swallow what burstyboi gives to ya

then yo' gonna swallow what oof gives to ya

then yo' gonna swallow what Quantum P. gives to ya

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:17 am
by MadTom
Anything you put in my mouth, you're gonna lose.

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 11:41 am
by Zenith Nadir
what the fuck happened to this thread while i wasn't looking

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:32 am
by superbowl shuffle
Yeah can we change the topic please?

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 9:37 am
by Commodore
COCKS

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:09 am
by MadTom
motion seconded