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 Post subject: Jesus christ.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:30 am 
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What can be said now?

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Read this from gamefaqs, review of Mega-Zeux

There are some things in life that are just not worth going near. These include radioactive material, Final Fantasy X-X-X (The game, not the porn site), Weirdland, and lastly...Megazeux. You're probably saying to yourself right now ''Why should I listen to this guy? He's probably just bashing this game because he has nothing better to do, and just wants attention.'' But first I ask that you read this review, so that you may understand why I stand firmly by my solid opinion. I'm not merely one of those kinds of people who simply bashes something popular for attention. So before you all send your flames away, allow me to point out Megazeux's flaws.

Graphics: 1/10

If there's one word that can describe these the best, it's ''Atrocious''. Megazeux uses graphics known as ''Text-mode''. These graphics are, suffice to say, gruesome. Graphical ''Tiles'' are 8x14, and limited to only two colors. We're talking about lower than NES quality, here. On top of that, many of the playing areas consist of black spaces--it looks just plain-out awful.

Sound: 1/10

Ugh...this uses some of the lowest form of sound in existence. 8-bit MOD, and GDM. Not only is it very limited in how many channels you're allowed to use, but Megazeux can only support 8-bit samples--it's hard to come across any that actually sound good. Now on to the sound support...all Megazeux can handle, unfortunately, are .SAM files. These are like .WAVs, only very low in quality, and...with the lack of a better term...cheap. Most of the sounds sound warped, and degraded to the point where you can't even understand what they are at times. Megazeux also uses the PC speaker, which is nothing less than evil. There's no arguing about that. Moving right along...

Story: 2/10

The most redeeming quality of Megazeux is the story that comes with it. You are Vince, an archaeologist who gets trapped in a cave while looking for a silver staff. Turns out that cave is just an illusion for the real world, which has been taken over by robots. I've heard this before somewhere. Then it turns out that it's not even the dimension that you came from, and that somehow the staff that Vince found in the illusion world has something to do with that world as well. Bad storytelling, and an overall mediocre storyline plague this game, and make it unenjoyable--but you have to give the creator credit, right? But it's about freedom to create, right? Unfortunately, this suffers as well. For one, I have yet to see a good story, and two, it's hard to convey any kind of feeling, emotion, or to set an atmosphere with all said restrictions.

MY NAME IS SCORCH AND I AM A STUPID FAGGOT WHO NEEDS TO STOP POSTING AND PUT A BULLET THROUGH HIS FACE

also mooseka pwnz me!!1 :-)


Gameplay: 1/10

Oh look, you start out as a little smiley-face. You can move around, cast spells, and shoot magic blasts or bullets. The gameplay is very primitive, and gets redundant quickly. Not only that, but the editor itself is very limiting in what you can do. It's just impossible to capture emotion, and set atmospheres with these kinds of graphics, THIS support of music, and the poor gameplay implementation. I'm sorry if you disagree, but Megazeux just seemed to hit rock-bottom in this category. Which leads us to...

Replayability: 1/10

Run around at the same speed! Shoot bullets/magic blasts at pre-programmed enemies that get boring and redundant! Or make your own world of pre-programmed enemies to shoot at. It sounds like fun--but surprisingly, it isn't! You could waste your time trying to learn the scripting language, but the chances are it won't likely get you very far. This is one of those things that when you try it once, you'll never want to touch it again.

Controls: 10/10

It's easy to control. But of course, that isn't saying a lot. At all.

Overall: 1/10

If you'd think for one moment that good controls and a less-than-desirable story would warrant for a higher score, then you've got something else coming towards you. All in all, it's a pathetic attempt at a GCS, and isn't worth the trouble of getting it. There are some things in life that are just not worth going near. Megazeux is one of those things.

Buy or rent?

NOOO!!! This is a DOS game! The question is, to download or not? Well, personally I think it'd be a waste of time, unless you really want to see for yourself just how bland and restricting this ''Game'' really is. See for yourself--and you might as well check out Weirdland as well. But don't say I didn't warn you...


Fuck, what would that twit say bout ZZT? Calls himself Chronox or something.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:59 am 
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wacky morning DJ
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Uh, that was <a href="http://www.digitalmzx.net/forums/index.php?showuser=80">Tixus</a> who made that review. You silly boy.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 7:04 pm 
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this is my hammer
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Location: between the black and white spiders
why is scorch here

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he looked upon the world and saw it was still depraved :fvkk:

Overall: Rotton egg for breakfast


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 Post subject: Re: Jesus christ.
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 7:31 pm 
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;-*
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Gunther wrote:
MY NAME IS SCORCH AND I AM A STUPID FAGGOT WHO NEEDS TO STOP POSTING AND PUT A BULLET THROUGH HIS FACE

also mooseka pwnz me!!1 :-)


IT'S GOOD TO SEE THAT YOU'VE ACCEPTED THE TRUTH

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 9:46 pm 
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Official Clamp School Defender
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GUNTER GLIEBEN GLAUTEN GLOBEN

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 12:42 pm 
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this is my hammer
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he couldn't find ice cube so he bought vanilla ice

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he looked upon the world and saw it was still depraved :fvkk:

Overall: Rotton egg for breakfast


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 5:50 pm 
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Founder of Scientology
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what nobody likes megazeux here

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 7:07 pm 
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LOOK OUT FER BAAAD BOB
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Vanilla Ice Tea Cube


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:16 pm 
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All Hail
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I recently downloaded MZX and got it working. I still haven't gotten past the raised eyebrow stage.

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I did!--I did!--You're quicker than your friend... Now for a handful of guilders I happen to have a private and uncut performance of The Rape of the Sabine Women-or rather woman, or rather Alfred--. Get your skirt on, Alfred--


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:02 pm 
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Ordinery
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I like MegaZeux.

And I don't think posting a review filled with how bad graphics and controls
are in MegaZeux on a ZZT site. ZZT graphics are primitive compared to most
MZX games. ZZT is fun though guys, dont get me wrong.

The scripting language, which we call MZX Robotic, is easy to learn. I
got the basics in about a week. So shut up about that. With robotic, you
can stretch text mode to accomplish almost anything you want (with
only a few restrictions caused by text mode.) With SMZX, you can
get enough colors for NES quality graphics. Check out Kaboink!.

The music is the least of your worries. GDM sounds a lot better than
you think it does.

So be quiet.

PS: I <3 ZZT also. Without ZZT, there would probably be no MegaZeux.

EDIT: This post was directed towards the author of the review. Somehow
we must get my reply to him. Who who who.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 4:15 am 
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What can be said now?

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SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 4:16 am 
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Founder of Scientology
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MICROWAVE GIMME PROPS BOY

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 6:02 am 
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What can be said now?

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ok


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:45 pm 
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Watching you post
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:24 am 
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so kawaii! so cute!
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I was staring at that picture for about 30 seconds, and every time I saw the fat lady fall into that pit I laughed ever harder.


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