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I agree. Take me to the spicy page.
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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 11:12 pm 
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OH YES! USE VINE WHIP! <3
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Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2001 9:11 am
Posts: 1752
Location: Washington
Quote:
Name:Kyler's Adventure *DEMO*
Author:Kyler Daugherty
Genre(s):Adventure, Comedy
This is my first game, and if you don't like it...well...fuck you.
2007 Kyler Daugherty


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:freud: I end up starting on the wrong board, I'n supposed to start on the title screen as evidenced by the passage. So I have to fix that before I play.

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:freud: The game throws us into what must be a house, that green thing kind of looks like a bed. I need to find out what's going on.

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This is a shelf containing my most prized
posession, my collection of bat-owls,
"B'owls".

Image
Oh hey look at what's on ! Jackass!
Steve-o:Now this is the dangerous-crazy
stunt that will leave you thinking "Gee
whiz, are they fags or what?" it involves
my penis and Bam Margera's mouth!
Bam Margera:Dude, this is gonna be soooooo
awesome, my wife will think so too!...wait
... we filed for devorice just two months
after our wedding!!!
Wee Man:GEE WHILIKERS!!!
...
Jesus Christ this show sucks!!!

:freud: I then check out the scroll by the ammo room.

Your going to need this

-?

:freud: This game is pretty awesome. Armed with 210 bullets, I set out into wherever, I mean we have no plot or setting or anything at this point, just some blue line walls.

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:freud: Oh, well there's the plot and setting. To summarize in case you missed it
Plot - kill, rob, and wreak havoc
Setting - Ass Rape, Oklahoma

I'm also being flipped off by some text.

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:freud: Level one! Ass Rape, OK is sparsely populated, consisting of only two buildings, a magic (invisible) train, and a redneck farm to the north. Let's head to Cal's Bacon World first.

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:freud: At the front counter we speak with the cashier.

Cashier:Hello there!Welcome to Cal's Bacon
World! Where our motto is "eat are bacon,
as long as Cal gets his money, we don't
give a god damn flying fuck!!"
Kyler:Well, I can see you are out of bacon
doesn't that mean Cal doesn't get his mon-
ey?
Cashier:Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! I can't
afford to lose my job!!! I gotta pay child
support!
Kyler:Heh, shoulda thought of that before
you gave your skank an unwrapped beef inj-
ection!!
Cashier:You just broke my register,asshat!

:freud: And then to the guy near the key. Oh, and my name seems to be Kyler.

Fat ass:Mmmmf mmmmf bacon is great...sllll
uurrpp...eww water tastes gross!!
Kyler:Hey lardo, how about trying some ce-
lery?
Fat ass:Is it green?
Kyler:it's whatever you want it to be!
Fat ass:I take that as a yes!
Kyler:YOU SIR, ARE CORRECT!
Fat ass:No I don't eat dirty food like
plants and seafood!
Kyler:Oh! and fried pieces of an animal
that drinks piss while comitting incest
because it relized it will never look up,
is the cleanest food EVER!
Fat ass: *hands over ears* LALALALALA.
Kyler:Pssh, whatever.

:freud: The fat man begins walking out of the restaurant, I touch him again while moving and he restarts the whole movement pattern. I always liked breaking objects like this. With the new red key, I proceed to the music store.

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:freud: More ammo, and a gun...

Wow. A fully automatic laying in the rap
isle. Suprising . . .
Oh! Some ammunition too!

:freud: The boulder is just a door that says "WHOOOOOSH". As for the employee standing by the rest of the ammo?

Sorry, no entry unless you are an
authorized employee!

:freud: So I shot him.

AAAAAAAAHH YOU PIECE OF COCK ASS SHIT

:freud: And he turned into a red fake because it's a violent game. I pick up the rest of the ammo and gems, as for the mysterious yellow ring?

Sweet! Metallica!

:freud: A Metallica CD. Talking to the still living yellow guy...

Oh are you an employee??
Could you help me find some actual music?
kyler

:freud: Knowing this is a violent game I shoot him too.

MUTHA FUCKA!

:freud: Then there's the cyan lion

Oh woe is me! I've missed the album
signing! Someone please kill me!

:freud: So I do.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOT REALLY!

:freud: At the top of the screen is a red guy.

employee
Sorry employees only you cock!

:freud: Guess what I do?

Oh what a life!

:freud: With only 1435 bullets left, I decide to conserve my ammunition. There's a red spade to be touched.

A coat/hat rack covered in blood.What

:freud: I may need this ammo after all. There's one guy left in the store, the greedy music guy.

Greedy Music guy:*huff*harummmph!*puff*
Hey you there, slim-bob!
Kyler:Uhhh...my name is Kyler...
GMG:never you mind, have you sen the key
to my safe?
Kyler:No, fatty.
GMG:*huff* *puff* alright then, off with
you!

:freud: I shoot him, he moves south and west while saying AHHHHHHHH or something, and stops there. Using the key from the bacon shop, I head into the safe.

GMG:Awww man! You found my key! Now what??

:freud: You may have noticed one of the gems is actually a boulder, touching it reveals

Sweet a porno mag!

:freud: And I accidently quit the game. Restarting, I decide to go into the redneck farm, but there's a warning scroll

BE SURE TO GET EVERYTHING HERE!
-?

Image
:freud: The two scrolls say "COMING SOON" and "I SAID COMING SOON"

That's the end of this demo.

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 11:27 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:30 am
Posts: 371
Quote:
This is my first game, and if you don't like it...well...fuck you.


watch out he's gonna fuck us

(misc edit --> it's in zzt.org/upload)


Last edited by gingermuffins on Sun May 13, 2007 12:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 12:25 am 
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ill make a meal of you
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Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 3:06 pm
Posts: 426
Location: beautiful downtown joelville
i prefer pecko 2, it has the evil maze of adolf

also dos you really stink at let's play threads

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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 1:16 am 
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OH YES! USE VINE WHIP! <3
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Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2001 9:11 am
Posts: 1752
Location: Washington
I got lazy after doing ESP on SA.

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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:26 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:30 am
Posts: 371
i fixed it

removed all effronteries to god

added goldeneye

still not 10k though

not plaigarism atall cause i had to redraw everything since it wasn't in the upload foledr enymore I WAS BORED


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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:46 pm 
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Resource id #38
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2005 5:35 am
Posts: 662
Location: Wisconsin, Idaho
I have it.

(It's a great game)

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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 11:34 pm 
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grand wizard cyclops
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Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:18 am
Posts: 136
I must have this game.


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 3:55 pm 
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this is my hammer
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Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2003 11:40 am
Posts: 2767
Location: between the black and white spiders
i just saw the "FUCK YOU. EAT BACON!" thing and thought of...

...well i'll let you guess who i thought of. (hint: dickgirls, mcgriddles)

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